Have you ever had one of those weeks that are just crazy busy, yet filled with blessings? That’s been my life lately. I look back over the past month and smile- so many little things have been going on in my life and I can feel God’s presence through it all.
We attended a few nights of revivals last week. It was so good for my soul to sit down after a long day of work and hear His Word being preached. And God didn’t disappoint. In fact, He had a lot of stretching and growing in mind for me! All of us have our trouble spots, our weaknesses. In the last few months I’ve become more and more aware of the areas tht God wants to change in my life. Pride, wholeheartedly following Him, my unruly tongue, and repentance.
Well, the first night of revivals was all about humility. I sat there and internally squirmed and thought, Ok God, I can’t ignore this! It impressed me just how much my Savior humbled himself before His Father so He could humble himself before man and die on the cross. When something happens in my life that I don’t like, I so quickly turn to God and say, What’s going on? It’s not fair!! But the speaker reminded us, “If God had treated us fairly, where would we be today?” Oh, my stubborn pride keeps popping up all over my life, and I know it will be a lifelong battle.
The next evening, the speaker talked about moral enthusiasm and challenged us with the thought of being not lukewarm, but on fire for God. He also asked us if our zeal for God includes repenting. “You are like unfaithful wives (having illicit love affairs with the world and breaking your marriage vow to God)! Do you not know that being the world’s friend is being God’s enemy? So whoever chooses to be a friend of the world takes his stand as an enemy of God.” James 4:4 AMP Gulp. Another zinger aimed straight at this knowing heart. But God wasn’t done with me yet. Oh no! He was only beginning…
The next topic we heard was all about what makes a real man or woman. The world would list off things like power, wealth, success, possessions, etc. We, as Christians, should be looking at our relationship with God and our fellow man. The speaker said, “It should be SHOCKING to God’s people that we would trade a relationship with Him for possessions, status, or power. Is Jesus your greatest treasure?” I easily say yes! but does my life show it?
The last night of revivals was based on the story of Naaman (2 Kings 5) and the parallel of his leprosy to our sins. We were reminded that the deadliest sin is to be conscious of none. Even though I’ve given my heart to Christ and I know He has redeemed me, my sinful nature won’t be forever quieted. No, I know the closer I draw to Him, the more Satan and his dark forces battle for my soul. Praise God, He is on my side! “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31
Even through the past week, my personal devotions pointed to the same areas that need to be worked on- it was all in tune with what God wanted me to learn. This morning’s devotions were all about the power of the tongue, and my mind immediately flashed back to yesterday. I’d spent the afternoon with my sisters and brother at my parents. You know how around your family you’re so comfortable and how easy it is to slip back into old habits? Maybe you don’t deal with that, but I do! And I ended up “yelling” at my brother for something I didn’t think he was doing right. I went to hang up a load of wash for Mom and my heart was so convicted. So easily I’d spouted off my opinion without thought of how my fifteen year old brother could handle it just fine. I joke that it’s the teacher in me coming out, but in all honesty, that is just an excuse. A few months ago, it wouldn’t have even crossed my mind just how bossy or mouthy I really could be. I was so ashamed to realize how quickly I use words to try to control situations! And the peace after apologizing to him and to God was a valuable lesson I hope I don’t soon forget.
But through all this stretching and growing is a sense of peace. My days have been sprinkled with so many blessings- laughter and fun with Jay; heart to heart conversations with my Mom, sisters and my friends; playing frisbee and soccer with my nieces and nephew; a beautiful bouquet of flowers and some chocolates from my sister-in-law; an unexpected visit from Jay’s brother and nieces; and this BEAUTIFUL fall weather!
Oh, and one more God-thing in my life…I’ve been tutoring (privately) for the past two and a half years. I’ve been having so much fun working with this little guy. Lately, though, I’ve had no passion for tutoring. None. The past month, because of his football practice, it hadn’t worked with our schedules to be there…and I didn’t miss it….at.all. It bothered me. Was it just me, getting lazy, not feeling like working harder? Was is God, trying to tell me something? So I prayed about it and told God, I have no idea what you’re doing, but if tutoring is something that You want me to keep doing, You need to change my heart. If not, please show me what to do! Well, yesterday I had a conversation with the boy’s dad, and he talked about how great this guy is doing in school. They’ve started a different program, it’s helping immensely, the teachers are extremely supportive, and to make a long story short, at this point they don’t feel the need for extra tutoring outside of school. I’m pretty sure my mouth was hanging open. It just blew me away how God was working in his life and my heart to orchestrate the details. Will I miss Devon? Of course.
Will I miss tutoring? No. I asked Jay last night, “Now what?! I’m only cleaning for a job, and that’s not enough!” Tutoring was like a “mission” for me and I just can’t shake the feeling that God is preparing me for something new. What that is or when He’ll show me, I don’t know, but I covet your prayers! Until I know what else He wants me to do, I want to enjoy this season of my life and all the blessings that it holds.