Praise the Lord & Pass the Pumpkin Pie

The howling wind has finally died down, the snow flurries whisked away, and peace reigns. The temperatures are just hovering over freezing this morning and the trees are bare. Winter is almost here! First comes Thanksgiving (this week, already?!)…

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…and then I can declare that it is wintertime!

We’re still waiting for news. I think some days we’ll be waiting until we’re forty. It was explained to us that while the Bureau does like to make a decision within 180 days, they’re not held to that. So we could be waiting another month or another year, and be able to do nothing about it.

Except pray. How often I forget the power of prayer!

This morning I was reading about Moses and part of a verse stuck out to me. “And when 40 years had gone by…”(Acts 7:30) Forty years of life as an exile. Forty years in the wilderness, away from his people and his land. And I think 2 years is long to wait! But God knew Moses needed those years. I imagine them as years of lessons and added wisdom. Years to know God more and know Him better. Did Moses love Him more? Did he learn to listen and follow hard after Him? I don’t know. But when God called from the burning bush, Moses answered and led the thousands and thousands of Israelites to freedom- into the wilderness. God led him right back to the place he was familiar with, the place he knew for so very long before that.

It’s easy for me to look over the whole story and see God’s hand and His miracles. But Moses couldn’t see that. When he was two years or fifteen years into his own story, he had no idea what was ahead.

I want to remember that God is working good, no matter where I find myself. He has a plan and He can use me for His glory right where I am. I want to, I NEED to trust Him. Trusting God means walking in faith every. single. day. It means resting in the fact that this is not wasted time. Right here, right now, may be waiting time; but it is so much more than that. It’s a time to grow, to follow hard after our Father, and to love Him more.

I know so many people who are waiting. Their story, the length of time, or the details may not be at all like mine, but they still find themselves in a holding place. Waiting for better relationships, for a baby, for good news, for healing, for answers. It’s hard and some days it seems never-ending, like this season will be forever.

My dear friends, don’t waste this time. It is a gift. It is painful and exhausting, but it is an opportunity to know your Father better. Take your impatience, your anger, and your hurt and tell Him all about it. Talk to Him first and most. I long for others to know Him deeply. The way I got to that place of intimacy was because of pain, waiting, and wrestling. I still chafe at the wait. I can be stubborn in wanting to obey. I don’t at all understand my story. I’m imperfect, but am loved by a perfect Father, and I don’t deserve it.

My prayer is for you to love Him more. Wherever God has called you, whatever He is asking you to walk through- it is not a mistake. Dig into His Word, spend time with Him, and don’t let the devil tell you it isn’t worth it. Because it is. It always is.

This Thanksgiving season I am thankful for so much. A wonderful man and a marriage that grows better with time…

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Memories made with family and friends, a good job and fun co-worker, a wonderful church family, good health, a cozy home…

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…the list could go on. But mostly I’m thankful for my Jesus and the work He’s done in my life and my husband’s life. I came across this piece I’d worked on while waiting for court last year. The words are the lyrics to the hymn I used to sing to Baby Z while he was in our home, exactly two years ago. It’s still my favorite song, and while it brings me to tears almost every time, I can still smile. God is good. He is so very good.

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And those who know your Name trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those seek You. Psalm 9:10

4 Comments

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  1. Still praying for you to be able to enter in to the joy of parenting. It all seems so unfair but God definitely has a plan. (I’m a sister in law of Kenny)

  2. I stumbled across your story somehow. It hurts so much to read of your loss and pain. But I know that underneath have been the Everlasting Arms. I will help pray for you, for freedom, for the truth to set you free… and for beautiful chubby babies!

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